El Aborto Ilegal

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Aren’t Christian Fundamentalists cute?

From abroad, it’s hard to take things like the Voter Values Debate seriously. I don’t know why, but when you’re separated by a couple thousand miles from this kind of homophobic, anti-choice, reactionary bullshit, it just seems kind of kooky and funny. And there’s nothing better than sitting in bar with some Nicaraguans, explaining to them that in the United States our most retarded voters ask leading, loaded questions to empty podiums and consider that a “historic” political debate.

But imagine for a second that these batshit-insane fundamentalists actually guided policy. Imagine that they actually struck down Roe v. Wade. That’s what it’s like here in Nicaragua, where all forms of abortion — including cases where the woman’s life is at risk — are illegal.

In the run-up to the 2006 presidential elections, the Nicaraguan conservatives pushed through a bill to outlaw all forms of abortion, hoping the left-wing Sandinistas would take the bait and oppose the new law. In a country where 85% of the country is Catholic, fighting a bill like this is kind of like running for president on a pro-baby eating, anti-puppy dog platform. So, of course, the Sandinistas sold out their values and let the bill pass, despite their limited support for abortion in the ’80s. Now in cases of rape, incest or life-threatening pregnancies, women do not have the option to terminate their pregnancies. This gets even scarier when you consider that since the ban became law, 12-year old rape victims have been forced to carry their children to term in this country. And if these rape victims were to receive therapeutic abortions, they’d have to spend three years in jail. This is what the Christian conservatives are fighting for. Suddenly the silly fundamentalists’ debate doesn’t seem so silly anymore.

But the debate over abortion here is just as wacky as it is in the United States. Last Thursday there was a debate in the National Assembly over a new penal law that would extend the current law prohibiting therapeutic abortions abortions. Most of the Sandinista legislators didn’t show up, and the liberals and conservatives that did attend made the whole debate into a ridiculous political stunt. Freddy Tórrez, a member of el Partido Liberal Constitucionalista (The Liberal Constitutionalist Party), attacked the feminist protesters that showed up, saying that the feminists “Never had been mothers because their condition didn’t allow them to be mothers.” And Wilfredo Navarro of the PLC went even further, stating that the feminists were protesting “because they’re lesbians.” Apparently, in the minds of these politicians, only crazy, unfuckable lesbians are against abortion.

Keep this in mind the next time you see Mike Huckabee or Alan Keyes (who’s apparently running for president now as the retardo, conservative answer to Barack Obama) talking about outlawing abortion. This is what’s at stake.

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One Response to “El Aborto Ilegal”

  1. Sarah Palin Will Get Back to Katie Couric On Facts and Stuff « North American Scum Says:

    […] Like a said, I almost feel bad for Palin. But then I think about how her position on abortion would turn this country into Nicaragua and that we’d probably have to read about her batshit-insane Young Earth Theory in our […]

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