Archive for the ‘Hobos’ Category

Nicaraguans Love the Dicks

September 18, 2007

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You see some weird shit here in Managua.

The other day I was walking down the street near my house, and all the sudden, a horse drawn carriage-like thing comes barrelling down the road. These horse-drawn carriage things aren’t too uncommon down here. Sure, it’s not a major form of transportation, but I’ve seen more than a handful of these horse-drawn carriages in the few weeks I’ve been here.

What was weird was that the driver was wearing a “Dicks” t-shirt. Yes, that band. For all my friends who aren’t up on there obscenely named punk bands, The Dicks were an obscure ’80s hardcore punk group that wrote a lot of songs about homosexual sex (they really broke boundaries back in the day). Their first single “Dicks Hate the Police” is arguably the best hardcore punk song of the ’80s. If you’ve ever heard a queercore song, you’ve got The Dicks to thank for that. They’re pretty much the best hardcore band of the 80s that didn’t come out D.C. Pick up The Dicks – 1980-1986 to see why.

I stood there in shock for like five minutes. I mean seriously, what the fuck? Was he a Dicks fan? He can’t be. It’s hard to find Dicks albums in the U.S., much less down here where the new Kanye West album doesn’t exist. (1,000,000 hugs to the first person to up that to sendspace to me. Austin/Jes/Rebecca, I’m looking in your direction.) And even if he was a fan, I find it hard to believe that he’d import the t-shirt all the way from the states. That would be a rediculous waste of money for a guy who’s still using transportation from the 16th century.

So I’ve come to the conclusion that somewhere in the states, some generous punk thought it would be funny as hell to donate all his obscure punk t-shirts to a Nicaraguan charity. In fact, when I get back to the states, I’m going to make it my goal to donate random obscure punk t-shirts to charity. So keep an eye out for Haitians wearing Suicide or Drive Like Jehu t-shirts in the coming years.

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“Can You See the Dove on My Shoulder?”

August 29, 2007

Justice’s next album cover.

For as long as I can remember, hobos have loved to fuck with me. I can’t explain it. Maybe I just look like an easy target. I don’t know. But for some reason, hobos get great pleasure out of messing with me. A hobo once attempted to mug me outside of an Andrew WK concert by putting a rolled up newspaper under his shirt and pretending it was the barrel of a gun (I gave him 20 bucks for creativity). An Argentinean hobo stole my lighter.

I’m like hobo catnip. (more…)